This Is Why All Moms Yell: We’re Not Angry People

Why do moms yell?

Because we’re overwhelmed.

Because no one’s listening. 

Because our kids are about to get hurt. “Don’t put your hand in there!” 

Because the mess keeps piling up, and we're the only ones cleaning nonstop. 

We yell as our arms charge up and down into the air. 

We scream as our voice accelerates and our cheeks flush. 

And then after we do, we feel immense guilt, defeated, and like we want to break down into tears. 

We don't want to get to that point. We hate when it happens. But it does more than we'd like to admit. 

Are all moms angry, and that's why we yell? No, we don’t wake up this way. 

We find ourselves losing it because this parenting thing is hard. 

Photo illustration of woman yelling. Photo by Noah Buscher, Unsplash.com

We lose it because we have so much anxiety and no outlet.

We lose it because we’re exhausted to the point where our brain is functioning at 10% battery, and we need more than a good night's sleep to recover. We need a break: because we’re tired of doing everything, of nobody listening, of not being appreciated. 

But just because we lose it doesn’t make us bad parents. We’re just humans who care more than anything in this world about our children and the type of humans they'll become, all while wanting to keep them safe, that we get frustrated with them and mess up ourselves.

We don’t want them to be brats. So, sometimes we yell.

We don’t want them to hurt each other, and if they do that to each other, they must do that to other kids. So, sometimes we yell.

We care so much about them that we get run down from trying so hard all the time…

…so, of course, we lose it.

And you’re not alone in this constant battle of losing it and feeling bad. Every single parent struggles because we’re human, and parenting’s messy, so we aren’t going to stay calm every confrontation of the day.

So if this is you today,

give yourself grace,

apologize for losing it,

and try better next time.

You’re still a good mom. 

Danielle Sherman-Lazar

Danielle Sherman-Lazar is a mental health advocate and mother to three daughters. She has been published on numerous websites including: InspireMore, Scary Mommy, Bluntmoms, The Mighty, ellenNation, Project Heal, Love What Matters, Cafemom.com, Beating Eating Disorders, Her View From Home, Motherly, Recovery Warriors, and Humorwriters.org.

https://livingfull.me
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Why We Should Be Their Mom Even Though We Struggle

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We Can’t Give Up on Our Strong-Willed Kids: They Are Listening